Me too!
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
