YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
