dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Randomize
