...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize