And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
