STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
