Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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