you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I didn't notice because vodka
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
