Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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