I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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