What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Randomize
