I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
