You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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