Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
