Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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