Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize