When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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