I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
