This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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