We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize