I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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