will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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