Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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