i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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