now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Drunk is a universal language darling
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
