Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
