is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
