I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
