I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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