those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
