If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
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