We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
