i always forget guys have bellybuttons
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
