Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
