her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
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