he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
