just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize