Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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