I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize