i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
i now understand why vodka
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize