So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
