What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
