She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
