i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
