Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I think I died a long time ago.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
