I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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