Need sex. Gaining weight.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
