Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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