In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
