She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jไger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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